Just remember that you are not alone. Almost 80% of single-parent families are headed by single moms in America. Some may be divorced while others may have adopted kids. No matter what your situation is, these tips will certainly act as a boon for you.
I know it’s hard to feel grateful when you are having a hard time putting your kid to sleep or having him/her eat veggies. But, comparing your lives with the lives of your married friends will only make the situation worse. Instead of regretting over the past, be grateful for the things that you still have in your life, things that you will live for. Look at Sandra Bullocks and see how gracefully she has managed single parenting and her professional life. Had she been repenting over her failed marriage with Jesse James, would she have been able to provide the greatest love to her kids? My mantra is: Stop comparing and I think you should do it too.
For single moms, self-care is never only about us. It involves our kids too. Surprise your kids with gifts. Meanwhile, you can get a hair cut or you can buy yourself a dress and pamper your skin with facials, perhaps. Do not forget to make your own yearly check-ups, do your exercises and go for dental visits. Self-care should be your priority no matter what.
Get help when required
You are a single mom who can have her share of ups and downs. That is exactly when you need friends and family for support. You may have a meeting to attend or you may have a business conference or you may be too sick to care of the kid. Don’t worry. Ask your friends to babysit for the time being.
It’s natural for single moms to feel isolated in the beginning. But, friends are important. At times, you may just want an evening out without kids. You can call up your friends, meet for coffee and just rejuvenate your mind and soul. People may say that you are being selfish. But, do they really even know what you’re going through?Friendships will come into play when the chips are down. Friends are like stress-busters. It keeps all the relationships healthy. I call them over at my place and my daughters absolutely love them. Meredith and Christina, aged 7 and 9, get beauty tips, friendship advice and life lessons from them.
Have fun with your kids
At times, you may rely on your kids for comfort, sympathy or companionship. Trust me when I say this, your dependence on your kids puts immense pressure on them. Therefore, treat kids like kids. Have fun with them. Children do not have the mental or emotional capacity to act as substitute adult partners. You have your friends to share your problems with. Leave the happiness, joys and innocence to the kids. What do you say? My daughters say ‘Mom, you are our superhero.’ I guess that is how kids feel about their single parents. It is hard to go solo when you may have planned to do it in a pair. But, it’s not impossible. Remove the word ‘guilt’ from your vocabulary, stop listening to sad songs and smell the coffee, please!